My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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