They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
