I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
