she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
