Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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