What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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