do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
The power of my boobs compel you
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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