you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
