i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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