Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
