You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he shaved USA in his pubs
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
