I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
