Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
