I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize