I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
