keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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