No awkward lesbian experiences without me
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize