Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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