I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
