I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
