Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
