a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
