You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
We had sex on a dog bed..
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
