how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I have feelings that need drinking.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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