come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
