she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
