i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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