don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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