you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
we should paint friendship bongs
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