hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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