Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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