I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize
