is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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