It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
