We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
