you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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