is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i think i have two assholes
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
