ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
