i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
