weddingsv make me drug and hornr
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
