his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
