hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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