I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
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woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
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There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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