What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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