Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
