i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
