sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just got carded by a ten year old.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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