just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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