we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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