Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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