I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
