Umm I'm too high to move.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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