On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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