THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
