I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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