it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
