so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
