so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
