New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
