"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
