If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
