ugly people sure do ruin things
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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