This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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