i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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