You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Randomize
