none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
