We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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