Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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