I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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