take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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