can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
