drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.