so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.