Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.