where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
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she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
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she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse