I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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