Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
